CYBERBULLYING:
WHAT IF IT HAPPENS TO MY CHILD?
By Mr. Chris Abatelli, LMHC, LCC Staff Psychotherapist
We’ve all heard the tragic stories. More and more frequently, the media reports cases of children and teens harming others or committing suicide in response to the horrific emotional pain of being threatened, harassed, or embarrassed by peer(s) through the use of the internet, mobile phones or other electronic devices. How can we keep this from happening to our children and teens? Understanding the facts behind cyberbullying and knowing how to intervene may help prevent another teen’s suicide.
As parents, we need to become aware of the fact that it is possible for a child to be a victim one minute and a perpetrator the next. The anonymity of the internet can embolden a person being bullied to respond to being hurt by trying to hurt the other person. There are several important measures we can take as parents:
• Visit and become familiar with helpful information from important websites about prevention, dealing with potential situations, receiving help and reporting cyberbullying in case it happens to your child. These websites are: www.stopcyberbullying.org and www.wiredsafety.org
• Be the one trusted person your child or children’s friends can go to when things go wrong online or offline
• If an attack or provocation does occur, do not over or under react, but take the information seriously
• Be supportive of your child; words and attacks can wound a child and have a lasting effect
• Let your child’s school know of any cyberbullying behavior your child is experiencing
If your child has not experienced a cyberbullying attack or threat, be sure that he or she understands the importance of adhering to the following online rules:
• Never give our or share your personal information, including PIN numbers, name, address, phone number, school name or e-mail address when online. Never send pictures of yourself to others.
• Ask permission from parents before sharing any information with a chat buddy or another website, even in registering products, like games. Never give anyone your password except your parents
• Don’t believe everything you read online. People you meet online can lie about their ages or their lives.
• Be polite to others online. If someone sends a mean e-mail message, don’t respond. Online bullies are just like off-line ones in that they want to get a reaction from you.
• Never send a message to another person when you are angry. Calm down and don’t say anything that you may regret later.
• Never open a message from someone you don’t know. If in doubt, ask your parents.
• Do not delete or erase messages from cyberbullies. Keep the message as evidence in case it is needed
• Trust your instincts. If something happens online that doesn’t “feel right”, it probably isn’t. Turn off the computer and talk to a trusted adult.
• Never arrange to meet with someone you have met online unless your parents go with you. Also, if you and your parents do meet them, choose a very open place, like a restaurant.
• If you are the victim of a cyberbullying incident, tell your parents or another trusted adult.
Mr. Chris W. Abatelli, LMHC, has a Master’s of Educational Psychology in Adjustment Counseling as well as a Certificate of Advanced Graduate Studies (CAGS) in Counseling from American International College in Springfield, Ma. He works as a mental health therapist for Pederson-Krag Center and is Director of Youth for St. John’s Evangelical Lutheran Church in Sayville, NY. Mr. Abatelli counsels with children, teens, couples and adults for a wide range of issues including substance abuse, children with special needs, adoptions and conflict resolution. He sees clients at LCC’s Dix Hills and Patchogue counseling sites
CYBERBULLYING:
WHAT IF IT HAPPENS TO MY CHILD?
By Mr. Chris Abatelli, LMHC, LCC Staff Psychotherapist
We’ve all heard the tragic stories. More and more frequently, the media reports cases of children and teens harming others or committing suicide in response to the horrific emotional pain of being threatened, harassed, or embarrassed by peer(s) through the use of the internet, mobile phones or other electronic devices. How can we keep this from happening to our children and teens? Understanding the facts behind cyberbullying and knowing how to intervene may help prevent another teen’s suicide.
As parents, we need to become aware of the fact that it is possible for a child to be a victim one minute and a perpetrator the next. The anonymity of the internet can embolden a person being bullied to respond to being hurt by trying to hurt the other person. There are several important measures we can take as parents:
• Visit and become familiar with helpful information from important websites about prevention, dealing with potential situations, receiving help and reporting cyberbullying in case it happens to your child. These websites are: www.stopcyberbullying.org and www.wiredsafety.org
• Be the one trusted person your child or children’s friends can go to when things go wrong online or offline
• If an attack or provocation does occur, do not over or under react, but take the information seriously
• Be supportive of your child; words and attacks can wound a child and have a lasting effect
• Let your child’s school know of any cyberbullying behavior your child is experiencing
If your child has not experienced a cyberbullying attack or threat, be sure that he or she understands the importance of adhering to the following online rules:
• Never give our or share your personal information, including PIN numbers, name, address, phone number, school name or e-mail address when online. Never send pictures of yourself to others.
• Ask permission from parents before sharing any information with a chat buddy or another website, even in registering products, like games. Never give anyone your password except your parents
• Don’t believe everything you read online. People you meet online can lie about their ages or their lives.
• Be polite to others online. If someone sends a mean e-mail message, don’t respond. Online bullies are just like off-line ones in that they want to get a reaction from you.
• Never send a message to another person when you are angry. Calm down and don’t say anything that you may regret later.
• Never open a message from someone you don’t know. If in doubt, ask your parents.
• Do not delete or erase messages from cyberbullies. Keep the message as evidence in case it is needed
• Trust your instincts. If something happens online that doesn’t “feel right”, it probably isn’t. Turn off the computer and talk to a trusted adult.
• Never arrange to meet with someone you have met online unless your parents go with you. Also, if you and your parents do meet them, choose a very open place, like a restaurant.
• If you are the victim of a cyberbullying incident, tell your parents or another trusted adult.
Mr. Chris W. Abatelli, LMHC, has a Master’s of Educational Psychology in Adjustment Counseling as well as a Certificate of Advanced Graduate Studies (CAGS) in Counseling from American International College in Springfield, Ma. He works as a mental health therapist for Pederson-Krag Center and is Director of Youth for St. John’s Evangelical Lutheran Church in Sayville, NY. Mr. Abatelli counsels with children, teens, couples and adults for a wide range of issues including substance abuse, children with special needs, adoptions and conflict resolution. He sees clients at LCC’s Dix Hills and Patchogue counseling sites