Marriage Wisdom

As you may know, the book of Proverbs in the Bible contains a lot of wisdom to live by. For example:

“Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” (17:14); “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” (19:11)

In my work as a marriage counselor, I’ve been collecting some modern proverbs about couple relationships. They contain a lot of wisdom also. I frequently share them with my clients. Some are very powerful and I’m thinking that sharing them here might be helpful to some of you. So here are a few wise proverbs I’ve found – none original with me. Enjoy!

For a marriage to have any chance, every day at least six things should go unsaid.

When it comes to marriage, the more you focus on the bad stuff, the more you focus on the bad stuff.

Falling in love requires a pulse. Staying in love requires a plan.

Marriage tip: Reread together the cards sent to you on your wedding day.

Motto for the bride and groom: We are a work in progress with a lifetime contract.

Disagreement is inevitable; hostility is optional.

Remove persuasion from the agenda until both parties can express clearly the other’s position.

Truce is better than friction.

Anger is the only thing to put off till tomorrow.

Those compelled against their will are of the same opinion still.

You can’t change another person; you can only change yourself.

You can’t change the past, but you can change the future, by the choices you make.

Holding resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemy.

Three little words that can save a marriage: Maybe you’re right.

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence. The grass is greenest where it is watered.

You can be right, or you can be married.

Flexible people never get bent out of shape.

Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open.

It’s never too late to put things right.

Do not pray to marry the one you love, but to love the one you marry.

There are spaces between our fingers so that another person’s fingers can fill them in.

I am person in whom Christ is living, and everyone I meet is a person for whom Christ died. 


Ronald Lehenbauer, DMin, MDiv, LMFT, has served as pastor of congregations in Jenison, Michigan; Chicago, Illinois; and Flushing, New York, and as Circuit Counselor in both the English and Atlantic Districts, LCMS. He received his Doctorate of Ministry degree from NY Theological Seminary and holds Master of Divinity and Master of Sacred Theology degrees from Concordia Seminary in St. Louis, Mo. Dr. Lehenbauer completed certification in pastoral counseling at the Post-graduate Center for Mental Health in New York, NY and also is certified as an Imago Relationship Therapist. A member of the American Association of Pastoral Counselors and The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, Dr. Lehenbauer is a NY state licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, providing counseling for adults and couples at our Woodside and Mineola sites.

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